Journal Entry: Too Hard? Too Much? Too Soon?

11:30 AM
Been feeling like 💩 for a couple of weeks.  It's been awful.  I know my body has been fighting something.

At one point I even considered it maybe a parasite as a result of drinking water from the Colorado River.  Fortunately, it is not.

I even considered it to be a result of jet lag, yet that was not the case either.  Fortunately.

I though maybe it was a lack of sleep.  Nope. 

Could this be something I caught here in AZ?  Notta

I wondered for a moment if it was something serious as I have been feeling off.  Really off.  Unlike any prior feeling I ever had.  

Outside of my annual physical, I don't run to the doctor for the hell of it.  When I go, it is serious.  And we had got to this place where my illness was serious.  But I had decided I would not go until I had surpassed 1,000 days of running at least 1 mile every day since January 1, 2016.

Why?  I was fearful the doctor could have a diagnosis which could kill the streak.

Body has been so punishing running had become a very difficult mental effort.  There was even one night I tried to start running three times and my body said "NOOOOOOO You lil skinny fucker!  Take yo lil ass back to start and do not pass go!"

Horrible!  What is going on with me where it takes such effort just to get my daily mile+ in?  

While running on the treadmill the other night it was decided.  I would go to the doctor on day 1,001.  In the meantime, I need to dial it back. 

August was my most physical month ever since I started running a few years ago.  2nd most running mileage of all time (missed the number 1 spot by only a six miles).  Most elevation gained in a month ever (because of the spectacular TransRockies Run). Most cycled miles ever!  In addition to increasing my strength training.

Then September started off Grand!   I conquered 20+ miles on a one way trip across the Grand Canyon on the Kaibab Trail from the south rim to the top of the north rim.   But the declined had already started.

Symptoms of my decline began with being hungry ALL the time.  I mean ALL the time.  I'm used to eating my share of calories (I eat quite a bit), but this was waaaaaay unusual.

The second symptoms began with sleepiness and tiredness.  Regardless of how much sleep I got, I was exhausted.  I knew I needed rest, but typically I'm good.

Third was mentally, I was drained when it came to putting in miles.  This was mixed with physical illness.  Random pains or discomfort in my legs when I awoke.  Then GI distress.  Constantly.  Not throwing up or diarreah, but just the feeling of something in there is not right.

The GI distress got so bad that I eventually had the thought above, "Do I have a parasite from the Colorado?"

In addition I began some crazy serious speed and interval work after the failed R2R2R.  I've known for some time I need to increase my cardio health and boost my speed.  And like a mad man I started going after it hard after the Grand Canyon run.  But damned things were miserable.

#Runningismytherapy and here I am in a place where I physically have difficulty running!  My world was slowly falling apart. 

Regardless, I had decided I was going to the doctor.  In the meantime, I will dial my training back.  Cut the speed work out totally.  Keep my heart rate low.  And just lay back while on the run because I know I've been pushing it hard of late.  Could it be that I have been pushing myself too hard, too much, and too soon?

Yes, It's possible. 

So I kept it chill and laid back.  With that decision the change was almost miraculous.  With that run I was able to not only complete the requisite mile but knock out a full 5K.  A light switch clicked in my mind.

Could it be...  Maybe....  But... 

Slept well the night afterwards that successful run.  Felt good to not toss and turn.  To get quality sleep.

So I repeated the experiment.  Don't push my run.  Lay back.  Keep the heart rate low.

Again, same results.  Farther distance.  No crazy feelings and body began feeling a little better.  Slept pretty good.

Next day?  woke up early.  Before the alarm clock went off.  Feeling refreshed.  Quality sleep.  I felt so good, I debated if I should go out and run to put some miles on the clock.  I decided not to because of how bad I have been feeling and didn't want to push my luck.

When I finally got to the gym, repeat the same.  Lay back.  Keep heart rate low.  Don't push it.  Same result.  Felt okay.  Not 100 but went farther.  Body felt good.  No craziness as from the last few weeks.

This morning, woke up early and knocked out 10K before the sun got up.  Kept the pace back and heart rate low.  Pushed a little for a couple of miles to dial the heart up some but not extreme.  Stayed in contact with my inner self, my mental self, and most importantly the part I have been neglecting, my physical self. 

As I write this, I know what the issue has been and what caused my body to spiral into a downward into a literal death spiral.  Being a certified coach, I should have known better.  As a person who constantly listens to my body, I should have known better.  But I didn't and shame on me. 

Regardless of credentials I should have known better.  There is a difference between discomfort from gains and muscle soreness from a good workout and simply destroying one's self and beating one's self into oblivion because...  stubborn, foolish, and hardheaded me.

The reason my body was rebelling was simply because I was pushing my body too hard, too much, and too soon and my body pushed back.  Hard!  In an extreme manner to get my attention to calm da fuck down.  I was in a sense, killing myself. 

We live and learn.  Despite my accomplishments and the strength I have acquired from years of being hardheaded and pushing through the discomfort of growth, I too have to constantly check in across the internal realms and allow body to not only rest, but recover. 

My body had been fighting something. More like someone. My body had been fighting me. 

Know this; you will never push through the need to recover.  

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