Who am I?

7:23 PM
So who am I? I'm still on my life long voyage answering that same question. But I can tell you what I've discovered so far, and provide a little background info to boot in regards this whole running thing.

I'm not a competitive runner. Never have been. Did some unofficial running here or there through most of my childhood. Treadmill king of the two to three miles during my 20s and that's about it. I was that person that always asked the question why the hell would someone want to run (enter any said distance longer than 4 miles here).

My previous job kept me in shape and outdoors. Nothing like physical work to keep the heart pounding, or stopping it suddenly in an accident. But I digress. I ate what I wanted, drank what I wanted, and paid little to ZERO attention to what I was putting down the ol'food tube.

Job Change! Enter professional desk jockey. Oh the benefits of conditioned air space in the summers and winters.

Once semi frequent treadmill visits turned into nothingness as the effects of my new sedate state quietly took hold. You will note on my Race Log a gap grew which plunged my health to critical levels. I had become a couch potato waiting to die. I didn't gain much weight. I was still slender. There were no "physical" clues, but my blood pressure levels told a completely different story. It was bad.  A horror story actually.

So I went from Couch to 5K! - Yeah I'm a fvcking commercial. Go figure.

I've gone from barely breathing at 50 yards at a 15:00/mi pace to spending 8 hours recently in the back country completing my first trail 50K!!! Son of a byotch! I'm my own fvcking badazz!

Don't get me wrong, when I started to take control of my health, I DID NOT LIKE RUNNING?! (Okay let's call it a aggravated walk)  Hated it! OMG, I called myself the "Angry Jogger" as I was constantly yelling in my head! At some point the voices of hatred within my head began to settle. They disappeared.

Now running provides introspective opportunities to converse with the demons and angels inside that is me. Running provides me with my new philosophy on life, "Be the best you that you know. Be good and do you!"

A simple personal mission statement that has aggressive implications. Being my best requires effort and dedication. Knowing myself involves honest self awareness (the good and the bad). Being good to myself it the best thing to maintain my health. I can not expect others to take care of me or be good to me. Life isn't going to be easy and there is going to be a lot of bullshyt that I'm going to think is unfair. Yet, I should be my best ambassador for myself through this journey of existence of moments of heaven and hell. Neither should I concern myself with the haters, the wanters, or the trolls. I'm me. No one else. Folks are going to talk. Let 'em.

This is my fvcking story and I'm in love with it!

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