Somehow running keeps me sane in this insane world

Let’s get personal for a few.

Look, I know we live in different worlds despite living on the same blue marble spinning in the vastness of space.

We can live in the same community, the same house even, and yet we inhabit different worlds. Different life experiences. Different lives. Different realities. All because of perception and interpretation through the lenses of one’s own life experiences.

In this meticulously crafted and curated socially shared world, people can easily get others reality twisted and misconstrued. Often times viewing the lens through rose-colored glasses looking at the grass on the other side of the fence.

Many folks peep my Instagram, the bookface, twitter, and my other social media channels and believe life is all good in the hood. All rosy and perfect. LOL!

Nah, social fam.

I’ve lived through quite a few devastating pains and ills the past few years, but I’ve been able to weather the storms mainly due to the gift of running.

See running found me. Chased me down and made me it’s byotch. I didn’t find running.

Hated running at the start. But I was forced to do something when the doc gave me the grave news of my medical situation. The only thing popped into my mind when faced with a weakened stressed heart and high blood pressure was cardio/running. So the journey began. I soon found couch to 5K.

Couch to 5k evolved into chasing that first marathon, then another, discovering trail running by mistake, then ultras (fvcking freaks; laughs at self), and here we are today.

In those early days, I hated every moment of running. I cursed the thought of having to go out. I cursed my body, my heart, my situation, my life for creating this storm of circumstances that would cause my body to deteriorate to force me to get up and run. Again.

The angry jogger is how I used to refer to myself because I was. I was angry, but mostly I was scared. Death had become a daily reality which in my youthful foolishness had discarded to a later day. A later date. Somewhere in the distance future.

I smile as I write this as I’m looking down to my right wrist where my medical Road ID band clings to my wrist. It’s been there for years. A daily reminder. No longer a sign of impending health concerns, but now a sign of my love for going places I once thought I shouldn’t!

Little did I know back then, my disdain for running would later become the gift which brings life to a world filled with chaos, disappointment, heartache, and uncertainties.

But here I am. And I’m okay. Why?

Because of running. I look forward to exploring places I’ve never seen in the backcountry. To tempt the lottery of life, should I become the main dish on the lunch menu for some predatory animal (damned mountain lions, coyotes on steroids, and big ass Elks! Y’all know how ginormously huge and aggressive Elk are?!?! Scary fvckers!).

To laugh as I cross some crazy ass ridge with steep cliffs on either side, yes I’m afraid of heights!

Meeting new people at the gym or on any random run, forcing me into a daily adult time out as well thrusting me into a social sphere (makes my introvert nature crazy).

Time away. Time in my own head. Time to heal. Time to silently cry. Silently smile. Silently celebrate life.

Even the treadmill has become a medal of honor despite my absolute hate for the torture device invented for the torment of inmates. Yes, I’m looking at you Life Fitness TM 450! Fucker! Middle finger byotch! You know I loathe to love you though...

Every muse comes with love and hate. Trust me, I have stories of hatred of running, horrified trail stories, body aches and pains which aren’t medical related but running related….

You think I enjoy getting up at 4 in the morning just to get a run in before work?  Hell Nawl!  

You think I enjoy going to the gym, many times after a long day at work just to keep a running streak alive?  Hell to the double Nawl!

You think I easily turn my back and my taste buds to the miraculously delicious taste of Oreo cookies!  Oh, how I love thee.  [Runs to the store...]

I have happy moments while running but running and I ain't in some blissful fairytale relationship with running set to the tone of some mellow orchestral soundtrack.  Nope.

You get the picture.

But this is an open thank you note to my muse. Running. The love I have for you overcomes the hatred I have for you. Helps I hate running less than I hate stress, high blood pressure, and all the associated ills thereof.

Plus, somehow running keeps me sane in this insane world.

I don’t advocate running for everyone. No far from it. But I do advocate for everyone to find the thing that gives them a moment of solace on this spinning ball filled with the toils of life. Whatever your muse is, embrace it. Find the thing that you hate less than the ills of life; that thing that despite your moments of hatred of it, gives you a moment of sanity.

PS, fvck you mother nature for trying to kill me this morning out at Rocky Peak! Byotch! Appreciate the memories though, especially across the back ridge (pictured above). Fvcker.