Race Summary: Rock N Roll Arizona - It never gets easier

Home of my marathon debut in 2014.  My 5th running of this series; 4 marathons and 1 half marathon.

1 week after the Dopey Challenge and 5 weeks from the Daytona 100.  My body is still a recovering.  I'm still learning how to deal with the changes that occurred after beating it up for 30 hours weeks prior.  

Many wonder how the hell can I still be in recovery mode?  I'm not a professional runner, so my body is different than these freaks of nature out here that run 4, 5, 6 100 milers a year and pull 150 - 200 mile months on the regular!  Naw, that ain't me.

From what I've read and my doctor tells me (he's a runner too), it could take as many as 16 weeks for my body to fully recover from the demands I placed upon it in the later months of 2017.  

So we're here.  At the start of the RnR Arizona marathon.  Still relenting from jet lag.  I've traversed three time zones in the past 14 days.  I met a couple of fellow runners in the lobby on this cool morning in the Arizona desert.  I would end up spending quite a bit a time with TamTam from Chicago throughout the following hours.  

Before the gun, was able to meet with the Arizona running family that I haven't seen in a spell due to my 9+ months of globe-trotting across America in 2017.  

There was something different about this start, however.  There was notably a smaller crowd.  The corals were almost bare.  Within moments (3-5 minutes) of the gun for the elites, the back of the field was crossing the start. 

It was refreshing to be on familiar streets.  To see other runners that I've seen year after year.  The buy who runs this race annually while dribbling a basketball was there.  And I noticed several other faces in the 4+ hour crowd.  It was like a reunion of sorts.

At the advent, body felt great.  Legs felt great.  So I let it do what it do without pushing it too hard.  Within 6 miles, we were at a PR pace of around 4 hours 20 minutes.  I was a little concerned so I pulled it back some.  But my body was in good spirits.  So was my mind. 

I spoke with others as we pushed forward.  Several first-timers.  Old acquaintances and exploring the construction of our ever growing city.  I felt a sort of pain in my heart, as I realized that I haven't spent much time at home in the past 12 -18 months.  I was actually more familiar with cities that I had been working than my home turf.  I pushed those feelings aside as I pushed forward.  

Weird thing about this race I noticed early on, there weren't a lot of spectators on the streets compared to previous years.  It was weird.  It just didn't feel the same.  

My nutrition stayed on point.  My body stayed on point.  I even pulled back, even more, to keep from burning up and exploding later.  

Speaking of burning up.  Mile 10 the furnace in the sky began to remind everyone who runs this town.  It isn't called the "Valley of the Sun" for kicks and giggles.  Yes the heat of the day was upon us.  

I soon realized all my time away had altered my heat tolerance.  I've been running in a whole lot of cold weather and cold weather isn't something this marathon is known for.  

By mile 13 I knew the heat was going to be a problem and when mile 14 ticked by, the tires fell off the car.  I pushed through.  I fought the heat, I took in more water and calories.  But the struggle became harder and harder.  

The route of the race takes runners from downtown Phoenix, Biltmore, Arcadia, Scottsdale, and finally to Tempe for the finish.  Arcadia has been known as the party spot for this race and I always look forward to this area as it historically is a hoot to pass through.  

...yeah, the crowds were not as prevalent as in previous years.  So much so, when we made our turn south, I thought the course had changed.  See in previous years, that turn would have so many people lining the street all the way down to the half point it would be a mini finishing chute for the halfway point.  Weird.  

I digress.  Mile 18...  I was beaten.  I was done.  But I kept pushing further.  The dark dog and I was definitely walking together today.  

Mile 21?  The Uber app on my phone was looking really tempting.  But I wasn't injured.  Just in a bad place physically and mentally.  

I remember thinking I'm no where near in pain as I was at Daytona's mile 88 so let's just keep going.  Even if we have to walk this one in, let's get this one done.  

Sometimes people think because someone has done a thing before, that thing is easy.  V$%K That!  I know so many of my posts are positive and I exude a ray of optimism (really, have y'all been following me on Instagram and Twitter?  I tend to let my true feelings show).  No matter what a person does, there are times, days, moments, weeks, spells, where it all falls to shit!  Where it isn't easy.  It isn't fun.  It isn't what we would want to do.  And that's real.  Maybe it's my depression that I fight, maybe it's my dark dog coming out to play for a while because I need to recover and take a break from the craziness of work.  Rant Off:::

The pacer for the 5 hour group caught up with me at mile 23 and motivated me to push the last three miles.  Besides, how much pain can 5K be at this point?  Right?  

I eventually crossed the finish at 4 hours 59 minutes and 33 seconds.  It was an emotional journey.  I had to really dig to clip that sub 5 hour mark when I had given up mentally at mile 18.  

As I crossed the finish, tears began to flow.  Volunteers asked if I was okay.  I was.  

Running allows me to let my feelings out of their cages when I have to push and dig deep.  I allow myself to become emotional.  I allow myself to feel.  To feel the elation along with the pain.  To feel the joy along with the devastation and rain that distance running brings.  I allow myself to feel.

Besides, it was here in 2014 I shed tears for the first time when crossing a finish line.  So it is fitting that I would be here in 2018 with tears again, fighting to the end.  Being able to identify how far I've come and how amazing this journey has been.  

12 marathons ago I crossed this place.  And almost mile for mile, the emotions were similar to that first time across the marathon line.  

As I complete this, I realized that I have not documented my first marathon journey here.  My thoughts can only be found on Facebook.  I must fix that one day, but if you want to read my quick FB post about that first marathon, click the link.  I remember so much more.

The thing this journey I'm on has brought me is a community of folks with whom I can share my struggles through the endurance of the run.  We all have this crazy thing of life we're navigating and running brings the best out of the worst and brings courage from those living in fear.

Think about that for a moment.  People out there towing the line of their first 5K, 10K, or whatever distance they never thought possible before.  They are actively facing their fears while living in the moment of fear.  That's some gangsta shit!

Whether it's your first step, your first time jumping in the pool, climging on a bike, reading that first page of that book you've put off for the past 15 years, or whatever you're facing or doing.

And no, it doesn't get easier.  You become less afraid.  But the reward remains as sweet as long as you don't loose focus of why you're doing what you're doing.

Keep fighting.  Keep pushing.  Keep doing.  Be good.  Do you.  

I have to get to sleep, have work early tomorrow.