Distance…

It could be said the spaces between words are more important than the words themselves.  For without spaces, the words simply implode upon themselves into senseless gibberish.  

But space is no more important than the letters which form the words than the void of the space, regardless of medium, upon which both words and spaces appear.  

No different than the amount of air beneath one’s feet whilst moving through the course of a distance run.  Be it 20 yards or 100 miles.  

For the words chosen convey and influence to the reader the picture the composer has chosen, yet has no control of how the reader reimagines the composition. 

Over the years running has taught me so many lessons through the spaces between the ground and my shoes.  Lessons learned from the pace of my steps and the effort of each labored breath.  

The spaces between the beats of my heart after a hard effort, despite the speed, the spaces between beats are perceptually endless in the moment.

Seeing the distance grow as the miles tick by in a marathon or ultra.  How did mile one seem so yesterday whilst mile seventeen appear as distant as stars in the night sky.  So close, yet unreachable in this lifetime.  

Words create space, as my use of seventeen just 26 ago to reference my last failed marathon attempt before the pandemic alerted universally the perception of distance.

Officially a marathon distance is 42.2km or 26.2 miles.  

Yet I remember the first day trying to run in the park along Constitution Trail in Illinois as winter gave way to spring in March.  20 yards was all I could muster before my heart pounded in protest relentlessly and lungs convulsed for the molecules of oxygen in the air my blood so desperately needed to keep me alive. 

Bent over.  Wondering how I got there and how much further 5k stretched inconceivably before me.  Many many weeks later making it to the underpass of Veteran’s, progress but yet 5k may as well been a marathon away.

20 yards was the distance.  That was the space.  That was the marathon I faced with my pride stripped from my soul, I continue to this day to find space to grow between the things which I fear with each stride of my technologically advanced lab created soles attached to ultra light modern fabrics creating my brightly colored shoes.

For it is in space, the distance, I find safety from the things I simultaneity fear and need.  

I would never imagined in my younger days traversing the back country alone, with no way for someone to find me should I injure myself or otherwise.  Is it frightening?  Yes, but yet so rewarding…

I’ve run the distances I’ve run to create distance between myself and my fears, my reality, my desperation, my needs, my space just to find myself running headfirst into all the things I’ve run from.  

One can only run the distance so far before you find yourself right where you started.  And that’s where you have to make some choices about the distances you create with each step forward.  

Where even indecision is a decision.  Do you push forward and risk injury or worse case death, or do you alter plans to survive to possibly run another day?

I remember being in the hills of Idaho, all along along the green grass wild fields on a barely there single track trail.  A note left carefully on the dash of the rental car should I be unable to return.  Kit loaded out with all the essentials to temporarily maintain life or attend to minor injuries, there came  a point where I had to have the discussion within myself that every step further increased my chances to never return to the car I left just over an hour earlier.  The landscape so inviting.  The views so immersive.  My eyes had never seen such landscapes in my home territory of the south.  

Or that time trail running from the coast of California with the Russian River to my left, down in the valley below as I climbed into the hills along the famous fault line.  The sign I came upon in the shadows of giant Oceanside redwoods warning of mountain lions in the area.  

That time I ran so far my body ached in pain equal to the that of my tormented soul and broken heart.

And why oh why would anyone want to traverse 100 miles on a treadmill is beyond me…

Decisions which altered my path and changed my life’s trajectory.  Never looking back in skepticism, always pushing forward. Trying to let the moments, the spaces in time, come to me.  

I’ve been fortunate to have the privilege to “enjoy” these and so many other painful, yet rewarding moments.

Dean Karnazes famously said “If you want to run, run a mile.  If you want to experience a different life, run a marathon.  If you want to talk to God, run an ultra”.  

Distance makes all the difference on one’s life journey. Distance can be friend out foe.  Comfort or pain.  Judge our savior.  

distance can be all of these simultaneously.  And more.

Distance isn’t merely time, space, be it near or far, it’s the experience of it all nestled within the space distance creates between the start and finish.

So as life is defined by the distance between the dates written or spoken at some point in time to commentate space or distance traveled between the dates that defines your life.  

Everyone runs metaphorically.

Running is my sword, shield, my companion to aid in my quest for meaningful spaces within my life’s moments.  

A meaningful life doesn’t equal happiness, but happiness can be found during moments of a manful life.  Just have to be willing to achieve distance.  Be it 20 yards or a 100 miles.

The earth traverses roughly 19.2 thousand miles a day.  And yet this distance pales in comparison to the distance between us as a species and more so the space and distance between our own mind, body, and soul. 

Be good y’all.  Do you exceptionally.